Peacocks & Pole Dancers

I used to be a pole dancer. In my early days of swing dancing, after I got confident in my movement and musicality, I was guilty of treating the lead like he was a pole… Just something for me to hold onto while I did whatever I felt in the music. I remember a guy once saying (with a bit of awe), “But I didn’t lead any of that”. I smiled knowingly and said, “I know….” So I was a pole dancer AND a brat.

Well, karma found me last week and nipped me on my little pink butt.

I was approached by an advanced guy in another scene who I’d seen around but had never danced with. Pickings must have been low that night because he hit me up for a dance.

He started the dance in open position. Which was a red flag because this particular dance nearly always starts in a close, intimate embrace.

Pole dancers love being in open because it gives them the maximum freedom to do whatever they want, which usually means showing off fancy footwork, styling and at times, solo movements. Which he did. Repeatedly.

I shouldn’t have encouraged him, but I felt compelled to keep saying things like, “Wow” and “Check you out…” because this guy put on quite a show.

Turns out not only was he a pole dancer, but he was a peacock too. He dominated the dance by showcasing two decades of styling mastery into a three minute song, leaving me do do nothing more than go, “Okay, okay… I get it – you are clearly the superior human”.

peacock-bird-colorful-blue.jpg

This guy is far more interesting to watch than to play with.

 

I don’t know whether he was trying to impress me (or the four people totally not watching us), school me or use me to show off. What I do know is that he needed me to give him the counterbalance needed to pull off some of those moves.

The dance wasn’t about me and it sure wasn’t about us. It was all about him.

Based on his skill level, I thought that dance was going to be more than “just a dance”. Instead I sat down feeling confused, a bit annoyed and very used. One might say… the antithesis of a tangasm. :/

Dancing is about connection. We connect in ways that are physical, musical, emotional and energetic. Great dancers employ multiple levels of connection.

Ego isn’t one of them.

Just because you CAN, doesn’t mean you should.

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If you’re going to be a pole dancer, make sure you’re dancing with an actual pole.

 

About Epiphany

epiphanies on life and spiritual living as I chase wisdom - one insight at a time.

Posted on December 6, 2017, in Dance and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. We dance who we are, love that idea… where ever that saying came from? it finds its way onto my tango feed every month or so. Its like you have unpacked that concept here. The gentleman you were dancing with must have worked hard on learning those sequences and was clearly proud to show them to you. What he hoped you would think of him must have mattered a great deal! That’s flattering, even if the dance secretly wasn’t your favorite style. I wonder what it would be like for you to cabeceo this peacock at the next milonga but you lead!? I wonder if he would feel your gentle soul? I wonder if it would move him into alternative tango territory? 🙈🙉🙊

    Like

  2. Manchoon Chan

    So was this a tango or swing dancing?

    Like

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